Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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