is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So many bounce houses so little time
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
