dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
