Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
