I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
