This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
