are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
