do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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