i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
This girl is more easily done than said...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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