Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
