Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
