Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
