he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she peed on how many people?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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