Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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