You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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