I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
