More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
