It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I have fence marks all over my body
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
