Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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