Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
