New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
