If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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