i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
