The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I didn't notice because vodka
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I FOUND THE LEGS
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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