2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
