It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
