My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
