I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
