So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
