I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
