Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
