I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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