hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
