The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
