Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
