Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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