his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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