Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
