How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
