i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
