We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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