Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
