i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
