so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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