After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
