I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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