I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
