her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well I just put wine in my tea
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
