seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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