i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
