you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i out mim tonsoeep
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